University Speaker Gifts

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

They hated me.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Campaign for Plain English

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"Make a lot of money."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

Inclusive speech

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

Dialogue

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

University Soapflakes

U of Debt

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"Any questions?"

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'