University Life Fan Prints

'And now a message from Indiana University President Myles Brand.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

Good Luck!

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"No, the Geo Metros, Hyundais, Rabbits, and Kias belong to faculty - the Alfa Romeos, BMWs, and Volvos belong to students."

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'