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'And now a message from Indiana University President Myles Brand.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

Good Luck!

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.