Universe Enthusiasts Gifts

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

"No one will believe us - it's always the alternate cosmology institutes who come up with alternate universes."

Boldly Going Where No Trash Removalists Have Been Before...

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'Teenagers!'

An astronaut fishes in volcanoes on another planet.

Einstein's T-Shirt reads: My Wife Doesn't Understand Me.

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!

Alien embryo growing in earth.

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"What are you kids going to be for Halloween?"

"Trying to impress us on your first day is understandable, but the moon has already been discovered."

Blue Origin

The Big Tipper

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

NASA Special

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

'GM apples prevent Migraine'

"People of Earth – can everyone see my screen?"

For the last time, Bobby, I told you – every other person gets the red cup with the placebo. Lemonade 50¢.

"It could never work between us."

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"