Cosmos Enthusiasts Gifts

Big Bark Theory (canine version of the origin of the universe)

"I looked up your rash online. Have you recently been to one of the moons of Saturn? Or, it could just be poison ivy."

'Teenagers!'

An astronaut fishes in volcanoes on another planet.

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

Blue Origin

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

"Trying to impress us on your first day is understandable, but the moon has already been discovered."

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"What are you kids going to be for Halloween?"

"We evolved from asteroids"

The Big Tipper

NASA Special

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"It could never work between us."

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."

Moon and Star

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

Standings: Milky Way Conference

'Sorry, I'm a stranger here myself.'

'Nothing like a Romantic stroll in Saturn's acid rain.'

'Let's see what they're screwing up today.'

"AS a matter of fact, yes, you have told me you vacationed on Earth."

"Welcome to Mars. We assume you're all up to date on your vaccinations?"

Astronaut

'Actually I can't even figure out the origin of this organization.'

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

Intergalactic travel! Chapter 17: Taking the kids along! (ARE WE THERE YET?)

'When is science going to explain the dark matter I find in my belly button every morning?'

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"!

God Plays Baseball with the Earth

Well, those election results certainly surprised me. Me too, little buddy. But that's because when I went to sleep last night, I had a dream … that Robert F. Kennedy had lived, he appointed Carl Sagan as science advisor and head of NASA, Sagan took us to Mars in 1991, and Donald Trump spent the rest of his days founding casinos and selling real estate degrees on the red planet. Meanwhile, in the 2016 election, Martin Luther King Jr. narrowly defeated Sonny Bono. I just meant I'd forgotten we wer

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,