Universe Detective T-Shirts

Any news on that star that might have a Dyson sphere around it? Nothing new. I mean, they discovered the star's probably been dimming ever since 1890, which could lend credence to the notion an alien race has been building a Dyson sphere. By they discovered that a few months ago. There's been nothing since then, so ... whatever. Must be nothing there. They should do a study to see how long it takes your attention span to dim. What? Why? What're we talking about?

Big Bang Theory.

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

A man looks up at the earth

Slinky Cow World

"And that little pinpoint of light? That’s our new baby."

"Isn't the universe wonderful?" "I thought there was supposed to be fireworks."

The Big Tipper

Beyond the known and the unknown.

Emergency exit into Space

Frank and Ernest Celestial Accountants. How's the audit of the Bankrupt Universe, Inc. going, Ernie? At first I thought it was a personnel problem -- Halley's Comet shows up once every seventy-six years, the supernovas are a bunch of burnouts and of course planet Mercury only works eighty-eight days a year. But the real problem isn't personnel, it's corporate strategy! Strategy? What's wrong? Universe, Inc. thinks it can keep expanding and expanding forever and ever!

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

"That was Copernicus on the phone – he says you're NOT the centre of the universe!"

"Space exploration"

Alien flies in a spaceship out of a postbox.

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

Stratigraphy

'Okay - who leaked?'

TV - MARS, weather: 'Very hot and dry days, bitterly cold nights and no precipitation for the next several million years!'

Three-dimensional, eh --- What makes you so spatial?

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

'Say again: a train going 50 Miles Per Hour leaves Chicago heading to a black hole where the rules of motion change as a function of distance from a singularity ... and then what?'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

The EP-21 spy plane.

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

'Careful! A spark could start a new universe.'

"After spending thirty years creating models of early universe formation, I began to suspect that my work didn't make a shred of difference."

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'