Universe Architect Gifts

"I've been working on this project non-stop, twenty four-six!"

The universe...And he says he wants it by Sunday.

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"This connect the dots is taking FOREVER!"

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

The Day Dreamer.

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

"I'm getting it registered as an historical landmark."

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

'It started out as a little tree house for the kids and we kept adding on to it.'

Modern Parents

Windmill

"I like to stay on top of things."

Irvine Welsh

"After several chapters of pushing a boulder up a hill over and over again, I think your average reader will watn to see something else happen, Mr. Sisyphus."

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

'I'm the good witch, and this is my house - made entirely out of dental care products.'

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

"His latest management book was all about controlling the mind...and how you could teach it to construct a new reality..."

"Uh-oh, Justin Legoed himself into his room again."

'Motion seconded!' (golfers)

"No, having your gingerbread house eaten by kids isn't covered."

Moving buildings using a computer.

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

"It was either create a universe or play solitaire for an eternity."

The only time you are actually too old to follow your dreams.

Fire Escapes

"We need to find more stable housing."

A writer fishes for inspiration.

'He's depressed because his make believe friend unfriended him on Facebook.'