Unique Relationship Fans Pillows

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

'Would you like a romantic table or are you married?'

'You can't keep rescuing him. If he really wants help, book him an appointment.'

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

Black Friday

Mixed Nuts

Woman dragging reluctant partner into Tunnel of Commitment.

How to feel confident in love & war

"This is a good start! You both agree that the marriage needs some new spark!"

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

"Can I start you all off with my cheesy alimony saga?"

Rob and Maria dated for months, until the day he realized she was made entirely out of soy.

"Well, darn, Ted, I just can't stay mad at you."

'Sid slithers to a different drummer.'

"I picked him up cheap on eBay."

"And he's caring and honest and gentle..." "I'd do her."

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

"Have you given your daughter the 'Why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free' speech?"

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

"You mean the rumours she dated a Flamingo are true?"

I was expecting something else when you said nuptial agreement!

'And I thought I was leaving you.'

"We met in the Galapagos."

'Humans are so strange ... they think eating crow is humiliating.'

After an argument, they always kissed and made up.

Quirk of Evolution favouring the female of the species.

'Dr Phil sez, if I'm gittin' the milk for free, I should do the right thing and marry her!'

"I should let you know, you accidentally forwarded THAT mail to me."

"Open marriage? All right, open marriage it is!"