Unique Introductions Pillows

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"Things are looking up!"

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Dr Andrea Patterson; animal behaviour."

'You shouldn't be nervous about meeting my parents - you're more their age than mine!'

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

Some people like coming home to a dog. Carly preferred an 8 piece funk brass band.

'... And now I shall pass you over to tonight's speaker who will give a brief summary of my introduction.'

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

"Why?"

"We met online."

'...open beer bottles with his teeth.'

"Mom, Dad, this is Eddie, my heart's shaman!"

"Have you got anything that doesn't look like a pressure gauge from the Titanic?"

April And May

Fish pedicures - a woman with her feet in goldfish bowls, with the fish complaining about what they have to eat since the beauty craze took off.

'It's so nice to finally meet you. we can play 'good mother-in-law - bad mother-in-law'.'

I'm a feminist. I think that's cute!

"- And my name is Teresa...Mother Teresa!"

'You'll love Elliot, Father, He despises everyone even more than you do!'

"I told the dating service I hated the bar scene. I suppose you did, too."

"We should never have started offering it potato chips!"

"And if his mother introduces me as his 'midlife experiment' one more time..."

"Arnold, this is Tina Feldman, backlit."

"Hey buddy, you're standing a bit too damned close."