Union Jack Collector Gifts

Go Britain!

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Servicemen.

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'This must be heaven, because you sure look like an angel....'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."

'Do you come here often?'

A Rifle Competition in the North

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

"Too much club."

Utility Chic.

OMG UR HOT

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

Count Von Moltke.

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

Traffic Jam

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

The evolution of a woman's purse.

"For only five dollars more, the guy let me have the 'Smart Hammer.'"