Uniform Critique Pillows

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

"Does everybody know everybody?"

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

"...This is the only way I can get though college!"

'It's the council's flood defence system.'

Uni. Snowflake Library

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

'It's all a load of Voltaire!'

Prices include consultation with fashion therapist.

"The creative department? Just go down here until everyone looks, sounds and dresses the same."

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

'Elm and Oak? The streets were named after trees that were here before the developers cut them down.'

"I hate these tower blocks. . ."

'I gotta knock 'em all down, but don't worry, we're going to name all the streets after trees.'

Building an inferiority complex - debate over land use.

"Is there someone here who is sensitive to the banking needs of women?"

'Entering Krentville -Dystopia of the northeast'

'Damn! The uni has introduced new anti-student chairs."

Adopt a pothole

The Plight of Urban Encroachment

'If they carried spoons, the world would be a safer place.'

"The law firm of Lemming, Lemming, Lemming, Lemming, Lemming, Lemming..."

'Did you really? I flunked out of Bob Jones, too!'

College: 'We do not discriminate on the basis of race, age, sex, or religion. Students must simply be able to afford $20,000 tuition per year.'

"Whose idea was it to defund the sanitation department?"

University Admissions

How do you like the hat?

'I never would have joined this group had I known about the uniforms.'

"They never find any lice but it does establish the social order"

University Staff Vacancies

Vandalism on the rise.