Uniform Critic Gifts

'I never would have joined this group had I known about the uniforms.'

Plumber: '( HUMPH! ) And you call yourself a Plumber!'

Polluted geese

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

Police Cow!

"One can be against entitlements, and still feel a sense of entitlement."

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

"Does everybody know everybody?"

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

"I am calling a meeting...I am calling it a waste of time."

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

"You play that song once more and I'll break both your hands!"

'It's the council's flood defence system.'

'Haffner, we'll have none of your common sense suggestions!'

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

I spy with my little eye in the sky …

Uni. Snowflake Library

"When everyone gets a pillow you may start your presentation."

Focus Groupies

'I used to have serfs, but I've found that free-range peasants are more efficient.'

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

"This meeting has been a great success. Insofar as the profound loneliness of my soul has been displaced for a little while."

"The creative department? Just go down here until everyone looks, sounds and dresses the same."

'It's all a load of Voltaire!'

"Excuse me! I might have said 'yada yada yada' but I never said 'blah, blah, blah'!"

'I want to open a joint account with the riches man in town. . .'

"Run! It's Armagluten!"

WPC

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

'Elm and Oak? The streets were named after trees that were here before the developers cut them down.'

'He was a grateful man...just not in a good way.'

"Oh for goodness sake grow up Gerald. You know that just encourages them"

"The time we save tarting these meetings so early is wasted in coffee preparation and bathroom breaks."