Unicorn Job Seeker Pillows

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

Save the unicorn.

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"How many times have I told you kids to hang your coats in the closet?"

"I always knew you'd come back."

Unicorn Working From Home

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

Emma's Unicorn

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

If you think Unicorns are lame, you should see a Unicorny.

Fairy Vet

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

Unicorn in the Woods

Urine Catcher

"You have a valid social security number, a photo ID, and a credit score. As far as I'm concerned, you exist."

"Unicorns do exist!"

Factory Recall Unicorn.

'My resume,...in rap form!'

"I'll help you find your glasses after I find my horn."

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

"Bad news, the unicorns jumped out of the ark when they knew they were going to share their cabin with us."

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

"I don't know, I just thought it would be more magical."

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

True, I've seen plenty of padded resumes, but very few bejeweled resumes.

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"