Unexpected Twist Lovers T-Shirts

". . . and now, someone who needs no introduction. . ."

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

Death Photobombs a Holiday

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

"The back flip was a nice touch."

"You're right...it's football strategy! I think I presented our financial proposal to the youth team I coach! I must get more sleep!"

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

"Schedule the 'voyeur' and the 'exhibitionist' for the same time. I want them to meet."

Muggers nick nurses bag only to be showered in syringes

Season's Greetings and a Prosperous New Year.

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

'A wolf in sheep's clothing is one thing, but Grandma's clothing... Are you gay or something?!'

'Wait a minute,' thought Bob. 'This isn't my book. And those aren't my hands.'

'You called a plumber!'

Penguin emerges from freezer. Man says: 'This freezer needs defrosting.'

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.

"And I was all like - severed head in a sack? What severed head in a sack?"

"You are late! The rabbit left half an hour ago!"

"When he thinks back about this years from now, he'll only remember the good probes."

Hansel and Gretal.

The modern version.

'Bad news I'm afraid Mrs Cleveland. Your husband and I are entering into a same-sex partnership.'

An executioner practices beheading with his son on a tee-ball.

Santa takes the lift to the roof.

An unexpected development during round three of the annual nuclear physics play-off.

Safe is actually window to men's bathroom.