Unexpected Parenthood Pillows

"I thought you were on the pill."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"Our trip to Ibiza was a trip of a life time alright, that's how long we'll be paying for it"

'Herbie is my substantial penalty for LATE withdrawal.'

"What the...I got a paternity suit from that scruffy poodle b***h from Inverness?!"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Madonna of the Pukes.

Cry babies.

baby sweetcorn...

The Baby Walker

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

Interior design trends for parents....

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

"She's been so creative lately."

A midwife holding a baby

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Knight feeding his kids.

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

Rocking horse