Impending Parenthood Pillows

'It doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl as long as it'll make enough money for a good retirement home for us!'

"You're what?!"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

The Baby Walker

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

Low-Energy Drinks

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

Pregnant women having a ultrasound done.

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"We have the exact same taste."

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

"And that little pinpoint of light? That’s our new baby."

Baby Screen Time

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies