Impending Parenthood T-Shirts

'It doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl as long as it'll make enough money for a good retirement home for us!'

"You're what?!"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

The Baby Walker

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

We tried rocking her to sleep, but she still seems tired and cranky.

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

Pregnant women having a ultrasound done.

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

Baby Screen Time

"We have the exact same taste."

"And that little pinpoint of light? That’s our new baby."

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

"Congratulations—It's a well dressed boy."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced