Unexpected Moments Pillows

"The plumber is here."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"What the hell took so long?"

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

Malfunctioning geyser

"This does not make us friends."

'You're going the wrong way, Ben!'

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

Will You Marry Me Marcy 'Tough break, Marcy.'

Later that same day.

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

"The computers are down. You'll just have to suffer and go outside and play."

"Do you know why we pulled you over today, sir?"

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

'Good news. The DNA proves you're not guilty, you have no genetic diseases, and you're a half-brother of the Prince of Glavistan.'

'Boy...it can be awkward meeting the parents for the first time.'

'Mom, Dad. . . remember that day you sent me to law school and I got lost?'

"Sorry, it’s my first day."

A man has died while having a shower and has turned up in Heaven naked and not amused.

A mounted fish eats a man's arm

"Wow! A secret admirer!"

"Unexpected Spanish Inquisition in bagging area ..."

'The golf balls you found by the lake are hatching.'

The invisibility of the invisible man always ended in the most unfortunate places.

'He was so cute! I touched his arm, and guess what? He said, 'Jeepers, Creepers'!'

'You rate very high in everything, except, of course, people skills.'

Working from home

'You're right, Paul, she doesn't even know you exist.'

'That's the last time you have a sip of coffee.'

Hound dog sniffing and pointing at bunny slippers.

"Do you have that old birthday card?"

"I wonder what she meant by that."

'I shouldn't be here, the doctor says I'm fine.'