Unexpected Moments Pillows

"The plumber is here."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"What the hell took so long?"

Malfunctioning geyser

"This does not make us friends."

'You're going the wrong way, Ben!'

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

Will You Marry Me Marcy 'Tough break, Marcy.'

Later that same day.

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

"The computers are down. You'll just have to suffer and go outside and play."

"Do you know why we pulled you over today, sir?"

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

'Good news. The DNA proves you're not guilty, you have no genetic diseases, and you're a half-brother of the Prince of Glavistan.'

'Mom, Dad. . . remember that day you sent me to law school and I got lost?'

'Boy...it can be awkward meeting the parents for the first time.'

"Sorry, it’s my first day."

"Wow! A secret admirer!"

'The golf balls you found by the lake are hatching.'

Working from home

A mounted fish eats a man's arm

A man has died while having a shower and has turned up in Heaven naked and not amused.

'He was so cute! I touched his arm, and guess what? He said, 'Jeepers, Creepers'!'

"Unexpected Spanish Inquisition in bagging area ..."

'You rate very high in everything, except, of course, people skills.'

The invisibility of the invisible man always ended in the most unfortunate places.

'That's the last time you have a sip of coffee.'

'You're right, Paul, she doesn't even know you exist.'

"Do you have that old birthday card?"

"I wonder what she meant by that."

Hound dog sniffing and pointing at bunny slippers.

Big Surprise (vending machine)

'I shouldn't be here, the doctor says I'm fine.'