Unexpected Guardianship Fan Gifts

"I just washed and waxed it. I don't want the birds messing it up!"

City Zoo: Day Care

"I need to know who started it."

He looks so natural lying there...

"Play 'Misty' for me."

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'In this world, son, you've got to learn to push yourself.'

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Dog detectives

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

'I'm a guard dog too.'

Nun confronts mugger.

"Well, I've taught you everything I know."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'He's been shot!'

"Another clear case of COVID19."

Recollections of a Retired Butler

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

'The paintings are neolithic, I suspect the Mustaches wee added by a later people.'

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.

"And, for God's sake, don't let anyone finish my novel!"

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

'Ok...something, but nothing you'd care about. Honest!'

"Sure, meritocracies are fine, but why take the chance?"

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 1

"He might have fallen but these tire marks suggest something completely different"

Mr. Hyde writing the unauthorized autobiography of Dr. Jekyll

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

See, no monster under your bed

"Why do I always get stuck with being the guardian angel to someone who can't seem to finish his Ph.D.?"

"You want something retrieved? You've come to the right place!"