Unemployment Navigator Gifts

'Actually, I learned a lot in college, but there are very few job openings out there for expert beer drinkers.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

Opening the door to new customers

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

Between Offices

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

'Miss Peterson will be with you as soon as she goes through a few other resumes.'

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

'You will have no hope of recognition or advancement. That's why you'll be underpaid.'

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

For sale

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

Doubt or Certainy

'Obviously, I know a lot of weasel words, so I would be great in a business development role...'

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

Career advice from the boss

"Will this job involve multiple choice, true and false, or essay questions?"

"I owe my success to always being the lesser of two evils."

Out Box

'You say here that hard work doesn't scare you as long as you hide your eyes.'