Unemployed Professionals Gifts

'At least it's steady work.'

Summa Cum Laude Graduate. Overqualified for every job I applied for.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

"Things are getting really bad around here. Phil, the office plant, was just let go."

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

"I'm sorry, Davis, but your face no longer fits."

"Well, YOU tell personnel you need every winter off and see if you get a job!"

"I didn't get a job at the job fair, but I got a blue ribbon for best resume."

'Management is very concerned about 'work life' balance, particularly where back room staff are concerned...We think you give too much, you need to get your lives back.'

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

'I see you hold degrees in both medicine and law - But tell me, Henderson; do use these powers for good or for evil?'

'Well it's about time! My belly needs scratching.'

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

'I'll be late - had to think big again.'

America's Biggest Export...

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

'Sorry Sir, but 'impersonating a log' is not a very marketable skill...'

Two bored males hanging out on a tatty sofa.

'I'm going to have to let you go.'

'Believe me, mister... I'm an old hand in capital procurement!'