Underworld Tourist Gifts

"A banker?! But that means you don't even HAVE a soulll. . . Damn it - for once the human wins."

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

At this exact location on May 23rd 1957, a bunch of people mounted this plaque to commemorate a surplus of funding for the Commemorative Plaque Society.

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

Vacation on the Moon.

'You would think that our agent could make better travel arrangements for us than this.'

'Go to Hell'

"I'm so glad you've agreed to see Paris with me."

Limbo Day at the Palace

"At least we're not spending money on gas for travel."

Parisian Misguided Tours.

Despite hard evidence to the contrary it was still considered lucky to kiss the Blarney Spike

"Yep! - Your boiler's definitely on the blink..."

Nights in Bath

"I should've known better than to AirBNB from a bird."

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

"In my spare time, I write reviews on Goodreads."

"Waste of money, I've been here 200 years and never yet seen a monster."

'You are now entering Crenton, the city with the most intriguing 'You are now leaving' sign.'

'I thought I'd take the train to avoid the congestion charge.'

"Excuse me, Sir - could you photobomb our picture?"

"I thought I knew Venice quite well, but I don't recognise any of this at all."

"Yes, it's that way."

"There are no direct flights, so we're booked on the Scenic Tour of East Coast airports."

'Natural bridge'