Underworld Tourist Gifts

"A banker?! But that means you don't even HAVE a soulll. . . Damn it - for once the human wins."

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

Devil's Tower Park. Ernie, this nice ranger has offered to show us the basement gift shop.

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

Easter Island Tours. Theories differ. Ernie believes they were used to display a selection of giant wigs.

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

'I thought you said you wanted to spoon me!'

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

At this exact location on May 23rd 1957, a bunch of people mounted this plaque to commemorate a surplus of funding for the Commemorative Plaque Society.

Vacation on the Moon.

"At least we're not spending money on gas for travel."

"I'm so glad you've agreed to see Paris with me."

Parisian Misguided Tours.

'You would think that our agent could make better travel arrangements for us than this.'

'Go to Hell'

Limbo Day at the Palace

Despite hard evidence to the contrary it was still considered lucky to kiss the Blarney Spike

"In my spare time, I write reviews on Goodreads."

Wow! Look what you get when you hire a ride service right in front of a comic book convention!

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

"Yep! - Your boiler's definitely on the blink..."

"I should've known better than to AirBNB from a bird."

Nights in Bath

"Waste of money, I've been here 200 years and never yet seen a monster."

'You are now entering Crenton, the city with the most intriguing 'You are now leaving' sign.'

'I thought I'd take the train to avoid the congestion charge.'

"Yes, it's that way."

"There are no direct flights, so we're booked on the Scenic Tour of East Coast airports."

"What?!... You said you wanted to holiday somewhere different this year!"

'Sir, the Arctic offseason is 24-hour night, and the temperature below zero!'