Underworld Fan T-Shirts

"I don't care how evil they are, a deal's a deal. You get my soul and I get a permanent third hour substitute teacher."

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

Elevator Music

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'Take me to your auto body shop.'

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

'Oh no a speed camera.'

Haunted museum

"No squirrel, but I found Jimmy Hoffa."

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

'Oh, no! The poltergeist has taken up juggling.'

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

"Everyone say 'Hot Ghoul Summer!'"

Martian restaurant and take away

"You know, my unearthly moans are a lot less terrifying when you're chomping a squeaky toy."

'Oh mate, I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse!'

'Vlad, I know it's not your fault that you don't have a reflection but...'

Yuri Geller as a 7 year old.

"I don't know-somehow the city seems much scarier than when I was a kid."

The insurance giants do battle, ironically costing their own companies billions of dollars in claims,

"Something has to change....my life is turning into pure hell."

Dracula Waits For the Bus With A Coffin Briefcase.

'Look, more Unidentified Gawping Objects.'

"In my spare time, I write reviews on Goodreads."

A Ghost

"Yep! - Your boiler's definitely on the blink..."

“Sorry, we don’t accept the living dead.”

BIG HOOF

"Nothing yet, sir, but we have found Elvis."

"Buses and 2 person carpools only"