Underwater Optometrist Gifts

"I think I need an eye check: I almost got fooled by a lure yesterday..."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Thinks he's too cool for school.

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

'Let go of that balloon right now!'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

Lost. Readi

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

"Seriously, you looked so perfect that at first, I thought you were a lure..."

"You two seem oddly suited."

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

Love is Blind.

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"Aww geez... peanut butter and jellyfish again."

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"That, believe it or not, is also a mammal."

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

Pirate eye test

In his old days Superman's x-ray vision declined, but it still worked as a TV remote.

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

Hospital Departments

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'