Optician Gifts

Board Reads: I Am An Insane Eye Doctor And I Am Going To...

"Your eyes are fine. I'ts just that on some eye charts they type is too small." The nearly blind leading the nearly blind.

'Good memory. Now turn around and let's try it again. I've put the chart on the opposite wall since your last visit.'

E-Y-E patients only.

I am an insane eye doctor and I am going to kill you now...

'Those work well. Now you hardly look anything like Superman.'

"You're showing early signs of diabetic retinopathy. Lay off the eye candy."

'Your eyesight is only 20/400, but your insight is fantastic!'

Santa Claus doing eye test, The chart has 'HO HO' on it instead of letters,

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

'Still getting the hang of laser surgery'

Pessimist: "Half empty." Optimist: "Half full." Optometrist: "Half a glass of water."

'Your hindsight is no longer 20/20.'

"Your new spectacles will cost...."

'Great job! Now cover the other eye.'

Man at Optometrists and reading an eye chart that spells out 'PAY ME WHAT YOU OWE ME',

'I'm sure that using this new sign we will triple the sales of eye glasses.'

Love is Blind.

'It appears to be a side effect of those herbal eye drops you've been using.'

'Ha ha... Very funny!'

Old MacDonald Had An Optometrist

'This retinal camera is great, but at the price you'd think they'd include a cup holder!'

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

'No cheating'

'I think your intraocular pressure is very high.'

"My laser eye surgery was expensive but worth every penny."

What makes you think I need my eyesight tested?

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

Optimistic Optometry: Sale Rose-colored glasses.

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

'Well you're an eye doctor aren't you'

'No, Meester Bond... I expect it to cure your astigmatism'

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'