Optician T-Shirts

Board Reads: I Am An Insane Eye Doctor And I Am Going To...

"Your eyes are fine. I'ts just that on some eye charts they type is too small." The nearly blind leading the nearly blind.

'Good memory. Now turn around and let's try it again. I've put the chart on the opposite wall since your last visit.'

E-Y-E patients only.

I am an insane eye doctor and I am going to kill you now...

"You're showing early signs of diabetic retinopathy. Lay off the eye candy."

Santa Claus doing eye test, The chart has 'HO HO' on it instead of letters,

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

'Still getting the hang of laser surgery'

Pessimist: "Half empty." Optimist: "Half full." Optometrist: "Half a glass of water."

"Your new spectacles will cost...."

'Your hindsight is no longer 20/20.'

Man at Optometrists and reading an eye chart that spells out 'PAY ME WHAT YOU OWE ME',

'I'm sure that using this new sign we will triple the sales of eye glasses.'

Old MacDonald Had An Optometrist

'Ha ha... Very funny!'

'It appears to be a side effect of those herbal eye drops you've been using.'

"My laser eye surgery was expensive but worth every penny."

'I think your intraocular pressure is very high.'

'No cheating'

'This retinal camera is great, but at the price you'd think they'd include a cup holder!'

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

What makes you think I need my eyesight tested?

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

'No, Meester Bond... I expect it to cure your astigmatism'

'Well you're an eye doctor aren't you'

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.

"Jessica could you call Tech Support and ask when the lazer was last calibrated please?"

'That's still blurry This might be a good time to show you your bill.'

Eyeglasses vending machine.

Opticians - "The business recovery plan from our accountants - make the sign bigger."

'Mr. Janus, your hand sight is far better than your fore sight.'