Underwater Humorist Pillows

'Water? What's that? I've never heard of it!'

"He gets cranky if I don't fill in my timesheet every week, and believe me, you don't want to get him cranky!"

SCUBA Hand Signal Confusion

Fish: 'WHOA,Gesundheit!' / A Fish has sneezed out all of his scales

You're so lucky, my stripes make me look fat.

When Sponges Talk

"Excuse me!!"

"I used to have a cigarette after spawning, but I could never keep them lit."

'I asked for a cup of sugar.'

'You're a little overweight.'

'Every school has a class clown.'

You do realize these suits are waterproof on the inside, too.

Fear's fishes

'Well, this is embarrassing.'

'No, you can't have potato chips. I swear, you kids never want something good for you, like bait.'

...Be honest - would you trust an investment consultant who's wet, slimy and covered in scales?

Octopus Manicure.

… I've been so @#^@ tense lately! …

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

Guide fish.

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

Shark food pyramid.

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"You can find me on Inkedin."

Another hot flash?