Understanding Gifts

Prejudice/Empathy

"I need to stop walking in other people's crap shoes."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Killer Executive Suits.

Louis Armstrong

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Prize vegetables.

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

The Busy Gardener

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

I like the Jets...I guess

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

A Good Batch.

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'