Undergarment Guru Pillows

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

A women in a shoeshop.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Sport Utility Boot.

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Keeping warm.

Fisherman Evolution: They have evolved over the years with three distinct species...the largest of these is the coarse fisherman.

"Be creative...!"

Emergency Hipster Beard

Dating is so expensive...

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Absolutely not!"

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

Mr Metrosexual.

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'Do you like my little black number?'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

At the suit makers