Unconventional Pet Enthusiast Pillows

'Perhaps you'd be happier with a dog!'

"Pick me!"

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Canine Companion

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

Welcome to the Team

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"He's already getting attached to you."

Love Conquers All

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Pets.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

Author's Bio-diversity.

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."