Unusual Pet Enthusiast Pillows

'Don't give me that 'plenty meat' stuff! Tell me you can make him well!'

The new pet lobster craze

'Kittens are cute, but I was thinking lion or tiger.'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

"If you'll excuse me fellas. I have to see a man about a dog. Specifically-this dog."

'It's about that lizard you sold me four months ago.'

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

"I've been feeling needy and it's got me worried."

101 uses of a dead cat: parrot stand.

'See what I mean, Doc?'

Nutty Assistants

'I bought him off the Internet. Don't be alarmed if there's a small charge on your credit card.'

"She's a weiner cat."

"I believe we've entered the dark underbelly of pet ownership."

''No, Ma,am', I said. 'I'm not taking anybody's pet pig for a walk in a baby carriage' and then she doubled my salary.'

"You know very well you're not supposed to beg at the table."

"It's the peacock-removal guy."

'It's a good owl dog.'

'I've finished your horoscope, Bucky.'

"I probably should have mentioned that I'm allergic to cats, Albert. . ."

Man giving one end of a dinosaur's lead to another man.

"Mittens, you are one wacky cat."

"It's full of woodworm, we breed them..."

"Oh no, the dead mouse on the threshold is not an offering! It's retaliation for my dinner being served late the night before..."

101 uses of a dead cat: shoe scraper

'Butterworth was encountering a slight problem with the latest addition to his aquarium'

Man tries to shake clinging dog off his leg. Dog says to another dog: 'I suppose you could say I'm a people person.'

'He's almost human.'

"Hello Ma'am! Have you ever looked at other shark owners and thought 'Why not me?'..."

"Of course, he's very low maintenance."

Dog says of toy dog: 'He's really just a nodding acquaintance.'

"I see you bought more of these! Must you live up to your name, Mittens?"