Unconventional Methods Gifts

"On the plus side, you've cured my back pain."

"'I'm checking my answers."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"Surprise!"

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

Storage Unit of Love

A man looking askance at a child on a tank-like skateboard

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

"Using a female in hear helps to round up stray dogs!"

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

"Sorry, I double-booked. This wouldn't happen if I had a computer - but they insist we do everything by hand."

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

"I can't believe you forgot your death certificate."

Shaker Timeouts

"The microwave isn't working and I needed to heat my lunch."

Let's Get the Band Back Together

'But sir! That's the best granite, no burglar could get through that.'

"Damn it, I still haven't got you right! Let's try again."

"Your husband isn't responding to the normal treatment, Mrs Exley, but he is responding to the abnormal treatment."

"Can't say I agree with his methods, but I'll be damned if there's a horse that man can't break."

'Outré!'

"This is the most unusual post & pier construction I've ever seen."

They often made fun of Shinjo and his Samurai spoons, but not for long.

Man peeing from a high diving board into a toilet

'Your Letter of Recommendation from the outlaw biker gang, the Devil's Serpents, was certainly complimentary...but it does raise other questions.'

"I can't find anything in the rules against it!"

'Oh, stop complaining. The diet is working, isn't it?'

...The competitors call him conservative and old-fashioned, but I call him obliged to traditions!

Miscommunication!

Cheap tattoo removal.

We don't let computers mess up your records. We do it by hand.

'It has less to do with loneliness than with the fact that I live in a flood-prone area and I can't swim.'

"My dog? Nope, just a hobby of mine."