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Funeral - So how are things otherwise?

Showbiz Awards

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You and your daft inventions."

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

'Show one more kitten photo,lady and the next time you see me will be on a 'missing' poster!'

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 5. Forget how hot the coffee is while you're thinking how cool you look sitting in a coffee shop.

"On a scale of 1-10, how painfully awkward is this?"

Speed Dating Disasters

"If that girl sent over a double cappuccino, maybe you should go talk to her!"

As years of unspoken tension surfaced, Trunky refused to raise his hand like a coward.

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

"Are you blushing?!"

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"I think that one is a little too honest."

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

"... And since then, I've been quietly stalking you."

"Of course mating is natural. It's just not the kind of thing you want to see your parents doing."