Awkward Moment Enjoyer T-Shirts

"Mr. Bream, it's time for you to put on a humiliating smock and let the doctor tell you about his fishing trip to Canada."

Sadie and I are on the rocks. She says I never make the moves. With what? She's always the one getting our intimate moments started. This conversation is not happening. Please, Rudy, I need to tell someone. No. STOP. Don't say it! She says I nave initiate Bingo. The grossest moment of my life narrowly avoided.

'Show one more kitten photo,lady and the next time you see me will be on a 'missing' poster!'

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

"Blind dates can be awkward so I'll break the ice first. . . my colonoscopy took forever this morning."

Showbiz Awards

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

"You and your daft inventions."

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"If that girl sent over a double cappuccino, maybe you should go talk to her!"

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 5. Forget how hot the coffee is while you're thinking how cool you look sitting in a coffee shop.

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

"Say these things, don't think them!"

Speed Dating Disasters

As years of unspoken tension surfaced, Trunky refused to raise his hand like a coward.