Uncluttered Advocate Pillows

"I need an apartment just big enough for a laptop, a coffee cup, and me."

On holiday.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"My blood pressure stays fine, Doctor, as long as nothing comes between me and my fishing."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"What Genocide? What Armenians?"

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Back in my day, we were drawn with ink on paper, not on some fancy digital pad, but at least we knew we existed.

'Cleanliness is next to 'clean room' in the dictionary. Look it up.'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

"Tempting, but I'm on a plastic cleanse this week."

In the art gallery

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

'I'm defragging my wardrobe.'

'No sweat shop'

'I'm just draining the reservoir.'

'Single-use' - Word of the year 2018

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

Animal cosmetic testing

'My mom invented baths!'

'Only peanut butter and jelly fingers, Sir.'

'I moved the computer and phone off my desk. You wouldn't understand. It's a Feng Shui thing and it has successfully reduced my job related stress.'

Medieval Torture

"I'm a great believer in keeping a clean desk, chief."

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

"Can we just order pizza for Thanksgiving this year?"

"But this way I know where everything is."

"We seem to be the only animals here."

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

'Wash balls here.'

"Ok, ok, I'll use a bloody coaster!"

"I could use some of those animal rights activists about now."