Uncles Gifts

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

"OMG! I just got born!"

Inside One's Memory Bank

"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."

'We've created a teenager!'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

'There's a renewable source the government should use.'

Family Home.

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Too much sugar."

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

"He's a bright little spark, isn't he?"

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'

"I realise that it shows a lack of maturity .. But I like baby talk."

I like the Jets...I guess

The School Nativity.

'OK! I'll talk!'

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

"Where there's a will...there are relatives!"

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

"Uh, I'm not ready to have a family"

'Look darling, her first word.'

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

'I'm bored with looking at people's feet all day!'

'Don't track mud in the house! 'IT'S NOT MUD! IT'S DOG POO!'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'I had more last year!'

"Are we there yet?"

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

Bouncing baby

'We're very proud of our little Charlie. His reading is far in advance of his chronological age....'