Uncle Who Loves Livestock Pillows

Farmer and the Loove Dog!

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Chase me, chase me cows.

Children have their campsite ruined by an assortment of farm animals.

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

Sick Rancher Humor

Cheesie Rider

Curse my curiosity and four stomachs!

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

'We complete each other...'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

"I can build it. My price is 300 oxen and a flock of sheep. A roof would be 250 sheep extra."

'I was tired of my goaty, so I decided to grow a moustache...'

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

"I majored in sheep with a minor in cat herding."

'I don't know if she's gonna be much good. I don't think she's even registered.'

Clang clang. Uncle Ernie, why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.

'Pork bellies are up...'

Experimental Free Range Guinea Pigs For Sale.

(Omi God! Pigs in a blanket!)