Unceremonious Achiever Gifts

Feel good loser. NON WINNER

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

"Today we are going to find out if you can that leap."

Caged Businessman

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"One day, I'll be the first woman!"

"You know, there's a corporate elevator."

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"Listen here pup, it's time you realized it's a "dog eat dog" world."

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

"Trying to get new business is killing me..."

"Think about it. Maybe it's a good thing the boss doesn't know your name."

Do you mind if my mother joins our little business dinner ? You know what it's like, I don't want people from the office to think I'm sleeping my way to the top.

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

"Sorry, but if we hire someone like you, you'll quit in six months and start a rival company!"

"There must be some way of getting yourself fired."

"Timothy, success is nothing to fear."

'In just ten years he's accomplished what has taken others weeks to do.'

'Do I have to spell it out for you?'

The little engine who could, but decided not to- 'Ah, the heck with it!'

Segway Workout

"My career was on the launching pad."

"I don't want to climb the corporate ladder. I'd prefer to take the corporate elevator."

Employee of the Month - male.

'Wow! CEO in just ten days! You ARE a quick study, Perkins!'

'I'm appointing myself Vice-President... I need the money.'

"This year I'm going to lose weight!"

"I was assistant to Prince Andrew for six months, then I realised that, no matter how good I was, they were never going to make me Prince Andrew."

"Done already? Wow!" "Yup, a new record. Just under two years."