Ugly Duckling Enthusiast Pillows

'Then, one day a kid yelled, 'Man, look at that ugly duck with the long neck and the black mole over it's beak.'. To think I spent years parading around thinking I was a swan.'

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

Duck Hunt

How about going easy on the carbs

'I admire your floatibility.'

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

"Got any bathtub gin?"

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

Dog wears t-shirt: 'The Duck Stops Here'

'They're still following me?! Oh geez, what if they're in some sort of gang or something?'

Mother Duck.

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'I don't trust humans: Some times, they throw us bread, some other times, they shoot at us!'

Business Duck

Mistaken baby ducks.

What the woman who spent years frantically trying to get her ducks in a row eventually learned.

"You overwatered the plant, again."

'Save your money - he's a quack.'

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

'Are you going exploring or retrieving a duck?'

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"No, son. Let him finish."

Man's rubber duck waits for him to have bath

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

'Morning Larry, taking the kids to school? Have you still got the duck farm?'

'Well, he sure as hell doesn't walk like a C.E.O.'

Could I have my Bill ?