Ufo Observer Pillows

'We're polluting our ozone. Our icecaps are getting bigger, the oceans are shrinking....All because of our addiction to oxygen!'

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"Would you relax? They never look up."

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

Alien Snowmen

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

"Keep looking. She's here somewhere."

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

Friends and enemies of the Earth.

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"They look like pickles."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Are we there yet?"

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

The government is lying to us about life on the moon phobia.

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

'I think it's safe to say that there used to be life here on the moon, but that it's now extinct.'

An alien tries to hitch a lift at the side of the road

Take me to your market leader.'

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

"The food was o.k., but the atmosphere was terrible."

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

"Move along please. There's nothing to see here!"

'...And hurry up - I told you to go to the toilet before we left home.'

We come in pieces!

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

"I don't like the looks of that!"

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'