Typing Tale Gifts

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

'How many words per minute do you type?'

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'No, boss, this isn't a secret code. My spell check is broken and this is what my typing actually looks like.'

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

'Nice graphics.'

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

Sales Secretary

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

'How many words a minute do you type?' - 'Big ones or little ones?'

Nice moves—is that an air piano or are you doing the E-Mail?"

'He's been working on 'Seven Days to Change Your Life' for 8 years and he's only reached Tuesday.'

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

'I can type 500 words per minute.'

Scene from an early draft of Moby Dick

'This week's column is going to be about Writer's Block, and it's...'

The origins of bullet points.

'You must have a lot of untapped potential.'

"Yeah, the Declaration of Independence is beautiful! What font is that?"

"Sorry, but your personal life story just isn't very original."

Secretary

My Mom texted me to let me know she hates all the fonts she saw this week.

Penny got carpal tunnel, and had to hunt and peck.