Typewriter Captain T-Shirts

A writer sails on the water chased by editing shears.

Remote control pirate bully

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

Welsh airport arrivals.

"I'm not sheltering at home, I'm an artist in residence!"

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

Internet Cafe.

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

Verbal Orders

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."