Two-wheeled Warrior Gifts

Man on bike

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

Drool Marks

The Fast Lane.

Touring Cyclist

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

A smiling cyclist

Food deliverer's baby.

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Two wheels good, four wheels bad.

"They can steal my bike, but they can't take my dignity."

Bicycle Sidecar.

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

Biker chopper shopper

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

'Your Dad'll give your bike back when he realises he won't qualify for 2012.'

The Feng Shui of the road must be off.

Mad Cyclist Disease, the latest problem to plague cyclists.

Boy on a bike

"What an amazing view!"

'There's a lot of bugs in these parts, so I suggest you wear your helmet from here on out.'

"USA map"

'The upside is that it will guarantee you get laid, the downside is that there's a four year wait.'

'Pss-st, Harley-Davidson is up one-and-a-quarter...pass it on.'

'Instead of teaching me useless tricks like rolling over and fetching, how about teaching me to ride that motorcycle of yours?'

Motorcyclist.

'A bike this nice, I didn't think you'd mind me bathing it in your bathtub. Do you have an extra blanket, it'll be sleeping in our room.'

"It cuts air resistance."

Man falling off bike at finish line.

"That settles it, John! We're getting this bike a tune-up!"

Bicycle helmet for two.

Tour de France, Yorkshire.

'No, Mr. Flanagan,I didn't pull you over to harass you for being a biker...'