Two-faced Friend Pillows

'Hey! Have you heard the awful news?!'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

North Pole

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

Man about dog parasailing: 'He's a water dog and a birder.'

"Someone's sending us a tweet...it says 'more seed, please!'"

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

'Want to swap imaginary playmates?'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

"I got the highest grade in the class, except the giraffe."

"I love college."

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

A bald eagle approaches middle age

Are you kiddin'? Those babies are all made right here on the premises.

Awesome. Now let's try this with bottles.

"I know that birds of a feather should flock together, but I like hanging out with you guys..."