Twist Lover Pillows

"I have a better idea! Let's squeeze the apple and ferment the juice!"

'Gentlemen, my card! I'm a lawyer.'

That lovely summer day, Little Red Riding Hood decided to deviate from the script.

Benjamin Button's GP.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

The circus diver.

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

Death Photobombs a Holiday

The princess and the key

twist building

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

"Now THAT'S what I call a surprise ending!!"

Muggers nick nurses bag only to be showered in syringes

then, one day, when Robin's men were making merry, the deer struck.

"Mr. Dankin, the plumber will see you now."

Crime

"… and they lived happily ever after… until the princess caught the prince with the chambermaid!"

'A wolf in sheep's clothing is one thing, but Grandma's clothing... Are you gay or something?!'

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

You know I can't do the twist.

'Wait a minute,' thought Bob. 'This isn't my book. And those aren't my hands.'

'You called a plumber!'

Statue Selfie

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.

Penguin emerges from freezer. Man says: 'This freezer needs defrosting.'

"Reverse two and a half somersaults with one and a half twists - WOW!"