Twinning Aficionado Pillows

'Twins, brought up in separate homes...take several naps each day'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

Baptism Then and Now

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

"To maintain proper respect for management, you have to call me 'Boss Joey!' Unless, you know, you don't want to."

'You think you're an incurable romantic? My prescription is to get married.'

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

"Sinead?!"

"Excuse me. Anyone sitting there?"

Romulus (left) and Remus

'We're identical twins, but I'm luckier than he is!'

Twins

"Prepare yourself for a shock. The birth records reveal you have a twin brother."

"Actually, the first name was easy. It's her last name we're battling about."

"The one on the left is Mary-Kate, the one on the right is Ashely. Beware them both."

"She was my secretary before we got married, now she's the treasurer."

"I prefer the term 'barista.'"

"For the last time, he didn't steal your identity. He's your twin!"

'Aren't they wonderful? And your wife's already named them John and Edward.'

'I think they're identical twins. But I'm not sure.'

"Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with a nanny state."

"We're for calling it 'Hampton,' but they want to call it 'the Hamptons.' "

'My gosh...It's like looking in the mirror.'

"Guess which one I made with a 3-D printer."

'Make it a quadruple.'

'Mozart...as your agent I strongly advise against your choice of stage name...'

Twins

"And then in Italy Giovanni has found his soulmate"