Twin Seeker Gifts

Cloning Research.

I think that Sadie might be my long lost sister. I have a sister who lives in Boca Raton, FL., who is the mirror image of Sadie. Do you think that God could have made two of them and one got separated at birth? - Caroline R. Actual reader letter. Don't be absurd. Even a divine entity could not have created two women as comely as I am, and ... And? I might have a twin sister! According to a random letter that sounds facetious. To be continued.

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'You know too much,'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Eat my dust!"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 10

',,,And we'd really like a heart for the Tin Man,,,'

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

New York Netherworld

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

Speed Dating.

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

Cheerleaders

Dept. of the Treasury

The Wishing Well

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

'It's Dick Cheney's biography.'

Crime in bookshop

'I meant a book report on 'Treasure Island,' not a report on the Muppet movie version.'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Pirate dogs burying bones.

'Everyone's using your theorem, Pythagoras. I told you you should have patented it.'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

Thoughtful gifts for that special pirate in your life.

"Enough with the garage sales, Harold."