Tweet Magician Pillows

Just woke up from a 12 hour nap #staywoke

'How fast can you hype?'

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Desert Island BBQ

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Primitive magician

"I can't believe he brought her."

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

"I just need help getting the pit out."

If Disney was a software company

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

I tried working with Houdini, but he wanted me to escape from a straight-jacket before jumping out of the hat...

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

Juggler and Illusionist

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Magic Tricks

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

Magic Tricks

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

'It's a common misconception, but it's always been three fishes.'