Digital Magician Pillows

'My nephew Richie can download all your work from the internet for free. You are all fired.'

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

Go on! Pick a card.

"We've had millions of visitors to our website, but there's no way of telling how many of them actually believe in us!"

'How fast can you hype?'

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

The Life of Pi

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Desert Island BBQ

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

"I can't believe he brought her."

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Primitive magician

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

If Disney was a software company

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

'What luck! A sound technician.'

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

I tried working with Houdini, but he wanted me to escape from a straight-jacket before jumping out of the hat...