Tv Watcher's Club Gifts

'Corporations hijack government... details whenever we run out of commercials.'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

Tree house.

Love is when you watch television together.

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

'Och lye the news'

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Will work for Food Network.

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Time Machine Collision.

Incorrect weather forecasts.

'Madge! Desperate Housewives is on.'

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"You like it? We purchased the fourth wall from 'Westworld'."

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."